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www.CSEcenter.org
We
encourage
truthfulness in our
children by providing an emotionally
safe environment for them to be able
to tell the truth and make mistakes.
Providing an emotionally safe envi-
ronment requires our thoughtful
reflection. In her book, Living the
Eternal Way, Ellen Grace O’Brian
points out that it takes courage to live
truthfully. Creating an emotionally safe
environment for our children means
that we provide a safe place for them to
express their feelings. In other words,
they are not made to feel undue guilt
for making mistakes or ashamed for
expressing themselves. Our children
need to be able to trust that it is safe
to tell the truth. We can ask ourselves,
“Am I talking to my child in a way that
would invite them to be truthful?”
It takes planning and practice to live
as a family with spiritual principles at
the center. Having a clearly identified
plan for
practicing
truthfulness with
our children is important. Planning for
family activities and discussions builds
the foundation for sharing our spiri-
tual values, such as truthfulness. One
of the primary practices for supporting
truthfulness is meditation. This
relaxed time in silence allows thoughts
and emotions to settle so that we can
see what is true more clearly.
By incorporating the spiritual values
of truthfulness and harmlessness into
our family life, we can practice loving
and compassionate ways to talk to
our children at all times, simultane-
ously
modeling, encouraging,
and practicing
truthfulness, thus
supporting them in feeling emotion-
ally safe enough to tell the truth, even
when it is difficult to do so. We can
support truthfulness in our family by
apologizing and making amends when
we make mistakes. A simple, “I’m
sorry” goes a long way in showing our
children that we all make mistakes.
Our children are more likely to be
truthful when they feel safe enough to
tell the truth and know that everyone,
including their parents, makes
mistakes.
As parents, we can find great
support in talking with each other
in spiritual community and sharing
the experiences of teaching truthful-
ness to our children, as well as dealing
with the inevitable mistakes that both
we, and our children, make along the
way.
Christine Sodt, MS, M.Div. coaches parents of
emotionally challenged youth and teaches child
development at Mission College in Santa Clara.
In addition, she has directed and taught in a
preschool for eighteen years.