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Example:

 

 

Hen (parent): No one will help me.
Dog (child): I’m too hot and tired to help.

State your feelings

Allow the child to hear you describe 

your feelings about the conflict, and 

then ask the child to do the same. Over 

time, with practice, you will be able to 

expand your child’s emotional vocabu-

lary beyond “sad” and “mad,” but these 

words are a good start.

Example:

  

Hen (parent): I feel sad that no one wants 
to help me.
Dog (child): I feel mad because you are 
always asking me to help.

State the other’s feelings

Practice and develop deep listening 

skills with your child by repeating 

what she has described as her feel-

ings about the conflict in the story. 

And then ask your child to do the 

same—to repeat what she heard you 

say. Listening is the #1 skill in resolving 

conflicts. If deep listening is not being 

practiced, neither child nor adult could 

complete this part of the exercise. 

Example:

  

Hen (parent): You feel mad because I 
always ask you to help me.
Dog (child): You feel sad because no one 
wants to help you.

Brainstorm ideas together

Encourage your child to think of 

ways that might resolve the conflict 

between Hen and Dog. Allow them to 

be “right” and do not judge them for 

their answers. Make this step about 

creativity. Any idea is great, and more 

are even better. If you are reading to 

more than one child, invite everyone 

to offer ideas to resolve the conflict 

between Hen and Dog!

Example:

  

Hen and Dog: We could go to the bakery 
to get bread.
We could take turns. 
We could make a schedule. 
We could get some other animals to help.

Pick the best one

What’s the best one? The best one 

is the solution on which both (or all of 

the children) can agree. At this point, 

it is time to acknowledge that we 

have successfully (and nonviolently) 

resolved the problem between Hen 

and Dog! We often do this by shaking 

hands, or giving two thumbs up, but 

you will likely find your own way to 

celebrate helping a child to learn to 

become an “instrument of peace” in 

the world.

Example:

 

Dog: OK, Goose can help plant, Pig can 
help reap, and I’ll help you with baking.

Observing children grow in their 

ability and confidence to solve 

conflicts in a way that is aligned with 

the spiritual principle of Ahimsa,  

or nonharming, is a joyful and heart-

ening experience. Don’t be surprised 

if after a while, you observe them 

teaching conflict resolution to friends 

or family!  

Tina Margason has been an elementary educator 

for over 35 years and is a 4th year student in 

CSE's Meru Seminary.